Confessions of a Born Spectator
Ogden Nash

Performed by  Naseeruddin Shah

One infant grows up and becomes a jockey,
Another plays basketball or hockey,
This one the prize ring hates to enter
That one becomes a tackle or center,

I am just glad as glad can be
That I am not them, that they are not me.
With all my heart I do admire
Athletes who sweat for fun or hire,
Who take the field in gaudy pomp,

And maim each other as they romp.
My limp and bashful spirit feeds
On other people's heroic deeds.
Now A runs ninety yards to score,
B knocks the champion to the floor,